Rules for Coparenting

• Do not talk negatively, or allow others to talk negatively, about the other parent, their family and friends, or their home in hearing range of the child. This would include belittling remarks, ridicules, or bringing up allegations that are valid or invalid about adult issues.
• Do not question the children about the other parent or the activities of the other parent regarding their personal lives. In specific terms. Do not use the child to spy on the other parent.
• Do not argue or have heated conversations between the parents when the children are present or during exchanges.
• Do not make promises to the children to try and win them over at the expense of the other parent.
• Do not communicate with the other parent and make similar rules in reference to discipline, bedtime routines, sleeping arrangements. And schedules. Appropriate discipline should be exercised by mutually agreed upon adults.
• At all times the decision made by the parents will be for the child’s psychological, spiritual, and physical well being and safety.
• Access arrangements will be made and confirmed beforehand between the parents without involving the child, in order to avoid and false hopes and cause and disappointments or resentments toward the other parent.
• Do notify each other in a timely manner of need to deviate from the order including canceling visits, rescheduling, and promptness.
• Do not schedule activities for the child during the other parent’s period of possession without the other parents consent. However both parents will work together to allow the child to be involved in extracurricular activities.
• Do keep the other parent informed of any scholastic, medical, psychiatric, or extracurricular activities or appointments of the child.
• Do not use the child as a spy, informant, or messenger.
• Do keep the other parent informed at all times of you address and telephone number. If you are out of town with the child, do provide the other parent the address and phone where the children may be reached in case of an emergency.
• Do refer to the other parent as the child’s mother or father in conversation, rather than using the parents first or last name.
• Do not bring the child into adult issues and adult conversation, rather than using the parent’s first or last name.
• Do not ask the child where he or she wants to live.
• Do not attempt to alienate the other parent from the child’s life.
• Do not allow other adults, including family, to negatively alter or modify your relationship with the other parent.
• Do not use phrases that draw the children into your issues or make the children feel guilty about the time spent with the other parent. For example, rather than saying, “ I miss you!” do say, “I love you!”

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